Oh Sh*t

Wow, I got my first comment!  Somebody is actually reading this?  Now that I have a bit more free time there are lots of things I want to write about.

Something that has been in the back of my head for a while is a post from Jack Sh*t.  http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2010/03/whys-wherefores.html

In his post, Fullov asks a lot of questions that begin with "why":

The one I have been thinking about is:
If you’re making it, if you’re succeeding on this weight-loss journey, tell me why this time is different than all the others?

The truth is, I don't know and some days it scares the Jack out of me.  All puns aside, I truly get scared as in "Where I can buy Xanax on the street?" scared.

The reason is started this blog was to create a journal for myself to help me maintain and improve on what I have done so far.  I also want to share data on what I am doing both to keep me accountable and to help others if they find the data useful.  This is a diary of what has worked for me so that I do not forget it.

I know that the simple weekly weigh-in data provided by PriorDaddy the Anti-Sh*t, excuse me, I meant Jack Sh*t and Fat Daddy (http://fatdaddyrantsblog.blogspot.com/) has been incredibly useful to me since I have refused to get on a scale since I started this journey. The genuine inspiration and courage shown by the Anti-Jared (http://theantijared.blogspot.com/) and PriorFatGirl (http://www.priorfatgirl.com/) and the Winning Loser (http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/)  amazes me on a daily (diary) basis.

Anyway, back to the question raised by Fullov.

Again, I don't know.  I have been a yo-yo dieter since my teens.  I was always the "fat kid".  Of course this was the 70's definition of "fat kid" so as I look back it wasn't as bad as it seemed.   As a country, we are setting new standards for "fat kid" every day (a topic for another day). 

Actually, it was as bad as it seemed.  Once I figured out how to lose weight, I did.  Over and over again.

I do not know what truly made me get started on May 3, 2009.  I know I made the decision to give this one more try.  I figured the time would pass fairly quickly and I would rather deal with the problem of how to maintain as opposed to figuring out the real reason I was quickly approaching 250 lbs (I am somewhere around 160 now).  This is definitely the better problem to have, but I am scared because I can't tell you why this time will be different. 

I do know that if I fail this time and my weight bounces back up, I will gain about 150 lbs.  That is scary.  Fear and greed are the two strongest motivators of human beings.  Perhaps that fear will be my answer.  I hope there is a different answer because I don't like living in fear.  But, I also didn't like being a human bean bag chair either.  So, Fullov, I can't answer your very good question.  But, I have put myself in the best position possible to do so.

Cheers.